Know You

Know You  

You go to give blood and two gallons of pure lard come out. You get winded from exercising your right to vote. When you go to McDonald's, they give you your usual table. The roaches in your apartment go on rent strike until you fix the rat problem. The VD clinic has you on a Buy One Get One Free program. Your blood type is "Smirnoff." Your speed dial includes The Mayo Clinic, the Betty Ford Center, and the Psychic Friends Network. 911 has you on their speed dial.